


Home Farm

by straeon



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Bisexuality, Fluff, M/M, self harm discussion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-04-03
Packaged: 2018-03-21 02:08:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3673563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/straeon/pseuds/straeon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The next morning at Home Farm.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home Farm

Hands felt over every crevice and curve with craving being satisfied at last, yet they took their time, took advantage that they had that time - to feel and see each other in their entirety, as Robert held the hips moving above him, holding them, digging his fingers into the soft skin at the increasing speed, before pumping the other man to climax. They collapsed back down together, the quiet only broken by their low breathing, the ruffling of silk sheets and the nearly inaudible sound of skin caressing skin.

Robert breathed against Aaron’s hair, quietly thanking that it was washed free of whatever he put too much of in it, as Aaron sighed against his chest, touching the pale skin of his torso, seemingly aimlessly but with every piece of this moment, everything that touched his senses, committed to memory. Turning his head to check the time out of habit, Robert smiled that the numbers he saw, 2:36, meant nothing.

“Mm,” Aaron sighed, his facial hair rubbing pleasantly on Robert’s bare skin, as he furrowed his eyes shut.

“Comfortable?” Robert asked quietly, moving the hand that had been stroking Aaron’s shoulder and arm now through his dark hair.

“Tired,” was the answer, though it was clear when he showed no sign of moving that this was something he’d waited for, to simply enjoy of someone else’s presence in bed at night. Even if it was again in a strange bed, still strange to both of them at least - though Robert knew, and Aaron guessed, that the whole guestroom had been decorated under Chrissie’s hand. But the warmth through the previously cold, unused sheets, was theirs alone.

“I have to get up tomorrow,” Aaron admitted, not looking forward to the prospect.

“There’s stuff I should be doing too I guess,” Robert replied, watching Aaron more closely, fingertips feeling more deeply, at the reminder that the time they had was still temporary. In the comfortable quiet between them, the words Robert had once used to describe what they had echoed in his mind. The here and now, that was all they had and had that really changed? So much else had, between them and separately and Robert had also said he’d never cheat on Chrissie after they’d exchanged vows – look how true that ended up being.

“Are you gonna laugh if I ask you what you’re thinking?” Aaron mumbled.

“Yes,” Robert said.

“It’s just,” Aaron continued, propping himself up so he could look Robert in the eye. “You looked like you were thinking about something…”

Robert shook his head in reply. “You think too much,” he whispered before brushing his lips against Aaron’s, who pressed softly back before turning away to get ready to sleep.

He knew that Robert was right about that, which he’d been trying to keep ahold of while he was here with him. He didn’t want to spoil it by thinking about the future, definitely not my bring it up and tainting the contented mood between them.

“Really?” Aaron remarked with an exhalation of breath as Robert mimicked his movement and wrapped an arm around Aaron’s waist, laying soft kisses on his shoulder.

“Please,” Robert said, breathing hot breath against Aaron’s skin. “It’s so obvious you’re a cuddler.”

That Aaron didn’t confirm or deny – he hadn’t had much opportunity to find out but he knew this was nice, as it had been when Robert had awkwardly put his arm behind him on the sofa earlier. This wasn’t something he’d initiate normally but this closeness with men reminded him when he fell asleep or woke up to it that he didn’t have to be alone in his life because of his past and how it had affected his relationships. Putting his hand over Robert’s, he couldn’t help but check for the absence of his wedding ring though. Then he closed his eyes and reminded himself to not spoil this by thinking too much.

Noting that Aaron had become more tense, Robert placed his hand over his tightly, hoping the feel of his bare fingers would be reassuring when he had earlier dropped his wedding ring in his and Chrissie’s bedroom, and he lay firm kisses along Aaron’s throat as he drifted off to sleep.

 

Aaron entered the kitchen in one of Robert’s bathrobes with a yawn. “Pancakes?” He asked with amusement.

“I make amazing pancakes,” Robert said. “Got some real maple syrup and everything.”

“Because they’re so difficult,” Aaron said, trying to sound light but still awkward in this room. In any room where he knew they all spent time together as a family and there usually would be no room for him there. There still wouldn’t be any room for him so what right had he to be here with Robert now? He’d been an intruder here once before under Robert’s authority and a niggling part of his brain pointed out the similarities between now and then.

“You want something else?” Robert asked with a hint of uncertainty in his body language.

“It’s fine,” Aaron said quickly. “That’s great, I mean, thanks,” Aaron said with a smile, finally deciding to lean on the island across for Robert.

“Gotta send you off with a full stomach,” Robert said jokingly, eyes focussed for a bit on flipping a pancake. Aaron smiled at the faces he made and how the blue of his eyes were brought out by the wall behind him.

“Actually,” Aaron said, remembering himself. “I texted Adam and I’m going in later.”

“Yeah?” Robert said with a warm smile. “Can’t pull yourself away from me, huh?”

“Something like that,” Aaron said shyly. “But,” he continued in a rush as Robert seemed awkward about replying. “I’m not watching more of whatever that was last night.”

“You loved it,” Robert insisted.

“It was weird,” Aaron replied, and he meant it but he had loved seeing that side of Robert, a side he didn’t know if anyone else ever got to see, and he could feel himself falling more in love at his inane comments about the plot and actors, information that Aaron really could not care about in itself.

“So what do you wanna do?” Robert asked as he took the pancakes and two plates to the dining table.

“Just hang out, right?” Aaron said. He tried to ignore how awkward it still felt sitting at the table the family surely ate at together, now mostly empty with just the two of them, and focussed on Robert’s wide smile at Aaron confirming what he’d wanted yesterday back to him and the twinkle in his eyes as he watched Aaron in the way that had made Aaron believe, before Robert had admitted it, that he loved him.

It was still awkward, eating there, but the glances between them, the smiles and laughs for no reason, how Robert caressed his long fingers over Aaron’s hands across the table any chance he got… They made it worth it.

 

“Amazing, right?” Robert asked Aaron with that cocky smile he gave when he knew he was being cocky, as they walked across to the living room, Aaron shuffling his feet across the floor and still feeling unsure about ‘making himself at home’ here.

“I’ve had worse,” Aaron shrugged. They had been great actually, American style and suitably fluffy, but he didn’t give Robert the satisfaction. Though by now Robert knew not to expect Aaron to stroke his ego for him.

“C’mere,” Robert said, waving Aaron over to the sofa after collapsing onto it. “You don’t have to be so uncomfortable,” he told him after he’d sat down.

“I’m not,” Aaron said. And he hadn’t been last night but a part of him expected that in the daylight, he’d once again be reminded that all they could have were heated nights together (even if you threw in some DVDs and pizza for once) and he’d be just a dirty little secret the next day. From leaving the warm bed and Robert’s arms, he couldn’t help but be slightly on edge, expecting that something would crash in on that bliss he’d woken up to.

“Then act like it,” Robert said, smiling as he pulled Aaron’s feet onto his lap, making his sit sideways on the chair. “Relax,” he said softly as he stroked his hand along Aaron’s bare legs, pushing the fabric of the robe aside.

Aaron smiled, giving in and leaning his head against the cushioned back of the chair and watching Robert.

“Have you been running since… since I told you?” Robert asked quietly.

“Yeah,” Aaron said uncomfortably. “Like I said… That doesn’t just change everything.”

“But you haven’t been running since you came her,” Robert said. “Doesn’t this make a difference?”

“Well, I haven’t had a chance,” Aaron shrugged. “I guess,” he cleared his throat. “It helps but…”

“I’m here for you,” Robert said decisively. “I said that and I’ve shown you I meant it right?” His eyebrows furrowed with concern, not able to understand the motivations behind Aaron’s behaviour.

“Yeah,” Aaron said, nodding. “Having people around helps, people who understand.”

“I don’t understand it though,” Robert said with a sigh as his worried eyes flitted over the marks on Aaron’s feet. He hadn’t wanted to look at what he’d pushed Aaron to but he wanted to be there. Aaron had seen parts of Robert he didn’t want to and still loved him so it felt that Robert should be able to do the same, yet he couldn’t quite accept it. He’d tried to make up for it as well as he could, as he tried to now as he massaged the base of Aaron’s foot, but he was holding back on what he wanted to say. It hadn’t helped before to tell Aaron to stop hurting himself, when it hurt him too at seeing how this was his fault.

“That’s nice,” Aaron said, sighing back against the other side of the sofa and closing his eyes. Smiling to himself at Aaron’s tiredness, he stroked down Aaron’s leg and over his feet, warming with the palms of his hands and rubbing his fingertips along the bottom of his feet.

“I wish I could help more,” Robert said finally with regret.

“Like I said,” Aaron said frankly. “It’s not all about you.”

“Then what is it about?” Robert asked, trying to remain understanding but knowing there was an unintended hardness in his voice.

“You sound like my mum,” Aaron sighed.

“Is it because of her, your upbringing?”

“What?” Aaron asked sitting up and shooting up an annoyed look.

“Was that why you started it?” Robert asked. “If it’s not because of me then…”

“You’re not my counsellor, Robert,” Aaron said. “Which is good because you’d be a shit one.”

“I’m just trying to understand it,” Robert said with exasperation.

“I don’t need you to understand it,” Aaron frowned. “It’s just running, I… have it under control. Don’t push it, like my mum is, please.”

“Okay,” Robert said, pushing back what he’d wanted to reply, that _he_ needed to understand it. After a thick silence where he continued to work on Aaron’s feet while wondering what was on Aaron’s mind, he tried to lighten the mood, “As long as you don’t compare me to your mum again.”

“Hmm… It’s just you’re annoying as she is sometimes,” Aaron responded.

“Thanks,” Robert said, making a face.

“In a nice way… mostly. I guess,” Aaron said. “That you care, I mean.”

“That’s an improvement from thinking I only care about myself,” Robert smiled. “I’ll take that.”

Aaron shrugged. “There are other improvements… like this.”

As Robert smiled at Aaron with twinkling eyes, Aaron took it as the chance to bring something up with him as well.

“So,” Aaron cleared his throat. “When it started, I hated being gay, not just that but… how people would see me after they knew.”

“But that’s not a part of it now,” Robert said, confused at where Aaron was going.

“No,” Aaron conceded. “I don’t hurt myself ‘cuz I’m gay-“

“I didn’t mean that,” Robert interrupted.

“I know,” Aaron said, with a slight reassuring look. “What I mean is, that was hard - coming out, understanding that people didn’t see me differently, that they were there for me when it got tough. But telling people instead of bottling it up helped… Don’t you wish ever you had that?”

“Me?” Robert asked. The thought had hardly entered his mind. “What would I tell them exactly, Aaron? How I’m cheating on my wife? How Katie was right before she-“

“I know, Robert,” Aaron interrupted. “I just mean, about… that you’re… Didn’t you ever want to share that?”

Robert shrugged, avoiding eye contact. “I wasn’t around them when I first realised- when I first slept with a man. It’s not exactly something I’d share with them even if we were close,” he said matter-of-factly.

“When was that?” Aaron asked.

“A long time ago,” Robert shrugged. “When I was pretty alone, didn’t really have anyone around to care what they’d think about who I slept with.”

“But now?”

“I know you think it’d help,” Robert interrupted. “But it won’t.”

“They wouldn’t have a problem with it, I know with me and Diane – and Vic, they’re great.”

“I know they are,” Robert smiled. “I’m just not like you, Aaron, I don’t need people to know about it and accept me for it, or whatever.”

“Maybe,” Aaron said carefully with a shrug. “You just won’t know how much you need it till they know. It can be fun being in denial-“

Robert gave a short, loud laugh. “You think I’m in denial? Did I seem in denial last night?”

“No, bu-“

“Do I seem in denial now?” Robert asked, climbing on top of Aaron and roughly undoing the knot of his robe. “I want you,” Robert said, leaning down to kiss the other man. “And I know I want you.”

“And that you’re bisexual?” Aaron asked, placing a hand on Robert’s chest and looking up into his eyes.

“I’m whatever,” Robert said with a careless shrug. “I know I’m in love with you, isn’t that all that matters?”

Giving an uncertain shrug in response, Aaron didn’t stop Robert kissing from his mouth, down his chest, and watched him unbutton his shirt. What they had right now was what mattered but Aaron had to keep reminding himself of that to enjoy this properly. Before pulling Robert back against him by his neck, he wondered what that would mean for him, them, later, how they were both pushing things away they’d have to deal with or if they’d explode back in their faces. 

But Robert had a way of stopping him thinking about any of that, about anything else but him, like he was successfully doing now as he thrust between Aaron’s legs, throwing his clothes down around the living room furniture before taking him in his hand while licking the sweat from Aaron’s throat, who let his moans be heard around the open space of someone else’s home.


End file.
